Musings of a closet cleaner
It’s here. The big seasonal transition, when we (especially in certain climates) replace the spring and summer things in bins under our beds with our winter things, physically and metaphorically. Here’s what I’ve learned while letting go of a room-full of aspirations that no longer fit my body…or my soul. Yep, I’m talking about the dreaded closet change.
I don’t know about you, but my closet looks like bushes that haven’t been pruned in years. At least two, since COVID first burst onto the scene, and I started living in the same pair of yoga pants and a rotation of tops appropriate for Zooming.
Which is why this year’s transition has been particularly complicated. Because they all reminded me of my pre-COVID life – the one where I went to a full-time day job, in an office, with other people. All so very different from my solo entrepreneurial life, in my house, with my canine colleagues, seeing people by computer screen from the neck up only, as an author, speaker, and communications consultant.
It was jarring, to pull some of these clothes off the bars (anyone else have a staggering number of black dresses?). They’d all meant something to me at one time—like partners and lovers and friends and family members. No longer useful, I actually felt grief going through them. For all they represented … and the life that was.
And not that it was perfect or so grand, because I did change it voluntarily even before COVID hit—leaving said day job to venture out on my own. But still, just marking the passage of time—through dress pants I haven’t worn in a while, furry clogs stiff from the lack of wear, and a rack full of scarves collecting dust—forced me to self-examine.
What would I do with it all now that my life is really really different? Even more different than I'd anticipated when I left my job, since I didn't expect to be so isolated. I hated to get rid of any of it. I paid good money for that stuff.
And yet … you know me. Letting go is my jam, so I did. I gave myself an entire weekend to not only decide what to toss, donate, or keep, but how I felt about it all. I cried, gasped in horror (did I really need a hand-knit multi-colored poncho that looked like something you’d see at a clown parade?), I remembered the fun we'd had buying that scarf in Italy, and those pants on sale, and that dress…oh how it hugged me in all the right places. Now, not so much…
Going through the clothes that told the story of my former life was a full-body experience. And like all the many other times I’ve let go in the past, it left me feeling both spent and cleansed. With newfound clarity about and ready for what’s next.
See, I'm a person who believes that your outer life mimics your inner life, and the state of your closet is no exception. If you’re reading this and think, “Ugh, I need to do that.” That when you look in your closet, it feels like a thousand rocks just fell on your head.
My response is YES, get to it.
Here are some tips for how:
Commit. You’re going to do it when you have the time to take your time. This is about going into the experience with intention and the space you need to process whatever comes up for you. Don’t shortchange it or yourself.
Start with a vision. Ask yourself: Who are you now? What do you want your life to look like? And does each “thing” reflect that vision of you and the life you want? Make you feel good about yourself? Or inspire feelings of regret? Based on those answers, keep, toss, or donate (have bags close by for all three)!
Think out of the box. Look, if you’ve followed me for any time or read my book, you know I’ve got some challenges with food and my body. It’s okay, it’s all good. I’ve done the work – and I keep doing it, every time someone asks me if I want to go to the beach. At which point I tell my inner critic to sit down and shut up. And start conceiving of clothes that will make me feel good – which for me, will never be a bathing suit. But do we need to wear a bathing suit to enjoy the beach or pool, especially if we’re not loving the water (hi!)? How about a cute sari and a tank? Or catsuit? Or Halloween costume? Sure, I'm joking (am I?), my point being: Bust a move out of the rules. And wear whatever floats your boat—in and out of the water. As long as you do no harm to yourself or other people, it’s more than okay to get creative with your personal expression.
Here’s the bottom line:
Do life on your terms. Cleaning your closet, releasing the clothes you hate or no longer fit, along with the wrong job, partner, mindset, whatever. That's the way to do it. Do what feels right and good for YOU. And the rest of it—those old shoes, the pants that don’t get past your you-know-what, the dress from the 80s you got on sale for a reason, kick it all to the curb. And while you’re at it, get rid of those limiting beliefs and negative self-talk too.
Happy Spring!
