5 Books to help you let go
I love books. You may have surmised this by now, if you follow me. And even though I’ve written a non-fiction book, I love fiction too. The best definition of fiction I ever heard came from an old boss who called it “telling the lie that tells the truth.” YES.
Fiction writers have a freedom in storytelling that non-fiction writers and memoirists don’t (which is one of the reasons why, btw, my next book will be a novel … stay tuned!). Without guardrails—fear of hurting another person or retribution for their words—they’re free to bear witness in a particularly meaningful, resonant, and instructive way.
We need both kinds of books—fiction and non-fiction—for perspective on how to let go. Because stories—real and imagined—have much to teach us not only about the universal struggle around it, but about how and why to do it. With that said, here are some books I find especially powerful in this area.
Books that Teach Us How to Let Go
BOOk #1: North to the Night by Alvah Simon
This is a wonderful memoir by Alvah Simon who, along with his wife, set off on a 36-foot sailboat to explore the Arctic Circle. Until, that is, unanticipated events would leave him trapped and alone on his boat, frozen in ice 100 miles from the nearest settlement, with nothing to help him survive but his own wits and yes, Big Wild Love. As he worked to stay alive and walk through the tunnel of pain – both figuratively and literally – he ultimately emerged from the experience transformed. This book illustrates letting go as a matter of life and death. It shines a light on our ability to not only survive but thrive wiser, stronger, and more self-enlightened in the wake of the unthinkable.
→ Order North to the Night here
Book #2: The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins
I’ve loved Mel for years, ever since I used to watch her as a CNN commentator. Then she gave an amazing TEDx Talk, and I was hooked. In reading the 5 Second Rule, I was amazed at how she was able to make the simple counting down of 5 to 0 (an act that is often used to put patients under anesthesia to sleep!) so compelling. I was transfixed by the science and the stories of letting go…and how profound this simple countdown can be. I highly recommend this book when you find yourself stuck—getting out of bed in the morning, making that phone call, taking that risk, initiating a hard conversation, getting on that treadmill, or pursuing that dream. Whatever it is you know you need to do to better yourself, but simply don’t.
→ Order The 5 Second Rule here
Book #3: The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
I often gift this book to friends and family members who I think could use a bit of healthy fear to stay safe (instinctive, depending upon your level of Big Wild Love). That’s because, yes, we want to let go of unproductive fear—the kind that tells us if we leave this awful relationship, we’ll be alone, OR if we speak up for ourselves, we’ll lose something or someone who doesn’t have our best interests at heart, OR if we don’t settle for less than we deserve or be less than we are for someone or something else, we’ll wind up with nothing. But there’s a category of fear that serves us incredibly well and goes to our most basic biological instincts. It’s incumbent upon us—for ourselves, most importantly, and the people around us—to know the difference. That’s why I find this book so profound. Becker lays it out in no uncertain terms. It’s a must-read for every woman, IMO. You definitely want to give it to your college-aged sons and daughters (yes, sons too, so they be sensitive to how we women must move differently in the world…) If you have not read this book, well, you’re welcome.
→ Order The Gift of Fear here
Book #4: Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
If you follow me, you know that I have not been secret about my love for Strayed’s work. This book is a masterpiece, as she doles out advice in a way that will not only resonate, but move you. I don’t know how she did it (and believe me, I’ve got all kinds of good advice for people whether they want it or not … just ask my husband), but she made telling people the time of day practical and poetic. Too many lessons on letting go to mention, since they’re in practically every chapter, which BTW, you do not have to read linearly. Rich, nuanced, and powerful.
→ Order Tiny Beautiful Things here
Book #5: In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
This book is a novel based on a true story and I could not put it down. It’s the story of four Big Wild Loving sisters fighting the political winds of dictatorship in their beloved Dominican Republic. With purpose, passion, intelligence, and the willingness to risk it all for a greater good, they battled the worst kind of evil – letting go for what they knew they had to do. While their story ends tragically (this is a true story, so I’m not giving anything away), it’s still a lesson on how to let go and embrace life to the fullest. To be clear, I’m not suggesting you go into dangerous battle or live your life for other people to follow your truth and reap the benefits of letting go as a rule. But rather, to live an authentic life by knowing who you are and letting what matters most fuel your choices. And, inspire you to action on your own behalf.
→ Order In the Time of the Butterflies here
What books helped you through tough times, or helped you come to an important realization? Let me know in the comments!
